It’s not about winning

I’m not going to do it.  I thought about it for a day and went over all the possible scenarios in my head. I thought about what kind of person do I want to be. I thought about how doing something like this would change me, make me into someone I’m not proud of. I can rationalize a lot of things. I can not rationalize hurting him like this. He’s never done anything like that to me nor would he.  Also, I want to be a better person after today. I want to walk away from him, her, this mess. I want to start over with a better conscience not more trauma. I love him. I have to let him go.


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