Am I a terrible person?

She wants me to call her the next time we are in the middle of having relations.  She plans on showing up, catching him in the act and clapping.  I don’t know how I feel about this. She should have everything she needs by now and it makes me think the only person that will get hurt by this is me.

Doing this will mean that I’m breaking a promise I made to him and will hurt him so much. I don’t think I can do that. I still love him.

Doing it will also mean I’m standing up for myself.

Doing it will also mean I am a vindictive, horrible person who is only out to hurt him. It will make me a different person.

She says it’s not that big of a deal, that he deserves it for how he’s treated me. Her rational is I should do it because he does so much to hurt me.  I don’t know if she is playing me so he’ll hate me more, but I suspect so. Then she tells me, I have something to gain from it….she’ll leave him and he’ll be all to me. Yeah, right. Catching him with several other women should have been enough for her to leave. Aborting his child should have been enough. Seeing him with another woman is nothing compared to losing a child. And she is still with him. Why? Why go through so much?

I don’t understand why would someone encourage another to do something that is obviously so wrong?

If I didn’t care about him, then this would be an easy decision. If I wasn’t crazy this would be an easy decision, but I’m strangely curious as to how it would play out. Would it play out how I predict it will? Or would it have  a different affect. So far, I’ve been right when it comes to predicting behavior. Do I want to be right on this? Do I really want to find out?

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